Giving Up the Pacifier: When and How to Stop Gently

For many babies, a pacifier, also called a dummy or soother, is a source of comfort. It can help them settle to sleep, cope with new situations and calm down when upset. But as babies grow into toddlers, many parents start to wonder when and how to stop. Giving up the pacifier can feel daunting, especially if your child is very attached to it, yet most children manage the change well with a little planning and patience. This guide explains when to stop using a pacifier, how dummies may affect speech development and teeth, and gentle pacifier weaning tips to help your toddler say goodbye.

Why babies love pacifiers

Sucking is a natural reflex that soothes babies. A pacifier can help a baby settle, provide comfort between feeds and ease distress during injections or unfamiliar situations. Some health guidance also notes that offering a dummy at sleep time may be linked with a lower risk of sudden infant death syndrome in the first months, which is one reason many parents use them.

The challenge is that a habit that helps a young baby can become harder to break later, when the pacifier becomes part of a toddler's routine and their main way of coping with feelings.

When to stop using a pacifier

There is no single right age, and advice varies between countries and organisations. Many health professionals suggest starting to reduce pacifier use after the first year, and many dentists recommend stopping by around two to three years of age. Some research also links frequent dummy use after infancy with a higher risk of ear infections.

• Around 6 to 12 months: you might begin limiting the pacifier to sleep times.
• Between one and two years: a good window for many families, before the habit becomes stronger and while toddlers adapt quickly.
• By around two to three years: many experts suggest aiming to have stopped completely.

Choose a calm period for the change. Avoid times of big upheaval, such as moving house, the arrival of a new sibling, illness or the first weeks of starting nursery, when your child may need extra comfort.

Pacifier and speech development

Toddlers learn to talk by babbling, experimenting with sounds and having lots of back-and-forth conversations. A pacifier in the mouth during the day can make it harder for a child to practise sounds and join in with talking, and some children may talk less or less clearly when they always have one.

Some studies suggest that long-term, frequent pacifier use may be linked with certain speech sound difficulties, although the evidence is mixed. The simplest approach is to keep the pacifier out of the mouth during play and conversation, so your toddler has plenty of chances to talk. Our guide to toddler language development explains how talking usually develops between one and three.

Pacifiers and teeth

Long-term pacifier use, especially beyond the age of about three, can affect how the teeth and jaw develop, for example leading to an open bite, where the front teeth do not meet. In many children, these changes improve once the habit stops, particularly if it stops early. Never dip a pacifier in honey, sugar or juice, which can cause tooth decay. If you are worried, ask your dentist for advice.

Pacifier weaning tips: gradual approaches

For many toddlers, a gradual approach feels gentler. The idea is to reduce use step by step until the pacifier is only needed at sleep time, and then not at all.

1. Limit the pacifier to certain places, such as the bed or cot, so it stays there during the day.
2. Remove it once your child is asleep, rather than leaving it in all night.
3. Offer other comforts before the pacifier, such as a cuddle, a favourite soft toy, a song or a blanket.
4. Keep hands and mouth busy during the day with play, songs and snacks, so the pacifier is not missed.
5. Shorten pacifier time gradually, for example only at nap and bedtime, then only at bedtime.
6. Choose a goodbye day once your child is used to having it only at bedtime.

Avoid cutting a hole in the pacifier or damaging it to make it less appealing. Damaged pacifiers can break and become a choking hazard.

Saying goodbye: ideas for older toddlers

Children aged around two and older can be involved in the decision, which often makes the change easier. Talk about it in advance, in simple words, and let your child help choose how to say goodbye.

• The pacifier fairy: leave pacifiers out at night for a fairy who takes them to new babies and leaves a small gift in return.
• A gift to a baby: give the pacifiers to a baby animal at the zoo or a baby in a story.
• A special swap: exchange the pacifiers at a shop for a new toy your child chooses.
• A picture book: read stories about giving up the pacifier to prepare your child.
• A goodbye ceremony: put the pacifiers in a box and say goodbye together.

Once the pacifier has gone, stay firm and do not bring it back, even if the first nights are difficult. Changing your mind can make the process longer and more confusing for your child.

What to avoid

• Shaming or teasing, such as saying only babies have dummies, which can make children feel anxious.
• Sudden removal without warning for older toddlers, who cope better when they know what is happening.
• Giving the pacifier back after the goodbye, which teaches that crying brings it back.
• Putting anything sweet on the pacifier to calm your child.

What about thumb sucking?

Some children switch to sucking their thumb or fingers after giving up the pacifier. This is a normal way of self-soothing and often fades by itself. Offer other comforts, keep hands busy during the day and avoid scolding. If thumb sucking continues beyond about four or five years, ask your dentist for advice.

Coping with the first few nights

It is normal for sleep to be unsettled for a few nights. Your child may cry, find it harder to fall asleep or wake more often. Keep the bedtime routine calm and predictable, offer extra cuddles and reassurance and use comfort objects such as a soft toy or blanket. Praise your child for being brave in the morning. Most toddlers adjust within a week or so.

Some children also show more tantrums or clinginess during the change, as they learn new ways to cope with big feelings. Our guide to toddler tantrums has ideas for calm responses.

Pacifiers and nursery

Many nurseries allow pacifiers at rest time for young toddlers and gradually limit use as children grow. When your child starts nursery, talk to the staff about your plans so everyone can support them consistently. Starting nursery is a big change in itself, so it may be best not to remove the pacifier at the same time; our guide to separation anxiety at nursery explains how to help children settle.

At the Altın Anahtar nursery in Alsancak, the nursery group is for children aged 12 months to 3 years. You can contact the Altın Anahtar team in English to talk about your child's routines or arrange a visit by appointment.

When to seek advice

Talk to your paediatrician, dentist or a speech and language therapist if you have concerns about your child's speech, teeth or sleep, or if giving up the pacifier seems especially difficult. They can offer reassurance and advice tailored to your child.

For more practical guides to the nursery years, visit the Kyrenia Nursery Guide.

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